Archive for August, 2007

postheadericon Housefires Not Homos

Some lesbo fire chief forced four straight, heterosexual, Christian, male firefighters into playing in the marching band during the homo celebration of sin in San Diego.  Now they’re suing the city for sexual harassment!  Good for them!  They had to endure all sorts of locker-room shennanigans that decent Christians would NOT put up with!

Also, Brother C. C. Davis of Baptists for Brownback, unveils the new way to stop sin in its tracks – Christian Alphabet Recovery!

God is Love!

postheadericon Briefly Patriotic – You Break It You Buy It

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The other day when I got my daughter from home school, we stopped off at a store to pick up a Hummel figure for my wife’s birthday (don’t tell!).  My daughter took that opportunity to be careless and broke a cute little colonial girl carrying water.  Since the store a strict policy of “you break, you buy it” we wound up buying two Hummel figures.  We got home and figured out how she pay for it and after I put my belt back on and she stopped crying, a thought hit me.  America has spent billions of dollars on building stuff for Iraqis who, through their own carelessness, have broken it .  I think it’s about time the American government instituted its own “you break, you buy it” program in Iraq.  Maybe that’ll get the Iraqis to be a little bit more careful.

Briefly Patriotic – You Break It You Buy It

postheadericon Iraq Is A Bad Brother In Law

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A friend of mine in the Promise Keepers had a buddy whose brother-in-law had a lot of problems all of which related to the fact that he had not let Jesus into his life.  Chuck wanted to help his sister out so he spent a lot of time, effort and money trying to get this guy straight with the Lord.  He took him to rehabs that the guy flunked, found him jobs that he quit and lemme tell you Chuck’s congregation got a little bit tired of his brother-in-law disrupting services and bible studies.  In the end, Chuck had to agree that his brother-in-law was a leech, turned him into the police on outstanding warrants and made his sister get a divorce.  Iraq is a lot like Chuck’s brother-in-law.  We gave ‘em plenty of chances but they’re too stupid to get it.  It’s time to protect the Iraqi people and take over the democracy we gave them.

Iraq Is A Bad Brother In Law

postheadericon Christianity – Code Blue

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It’s time to face the facts – Christianity is on code blue alert and unless we start taking the threat seriously, America will continue its descent into securalism and from there it’s just a hop, skip and a jump to a Canadian style healthcare system and European socialism.  The lame scream ME-dia opened up a full scale assault on Americans that only want fulfill God’s plan for the United States – making it a beacon of truth, freedom and Christianity.  Some Masonic leader must’ve sent out a memo, because every news outlet from gay homo Andrew Sullivan to ABC, NBC, MSNBC and M-O-U-S-E is now blasting away at anything and anyone that even ever spoke the word Jesus.  Put on the full armor of God, folks, cuz the lions is back! 

Briefly Patriotic – Christianity – Code Blue

postheadericon Chinks In America’s Security

Once upon a time, you only had to worry about the towelheads.  NOW, you gotta worry about the towelheads and the CHINKS.  China’s trying slowly poison our children with lead paint and our pets with poison pet food.  We know what they’re doing with the pets.  Do they wanna do the same thing to our KIDS?  It all comes down to this – China has purposefully surrounded American military bases with Chinee restaurants and smuggles in workers to steal our military secrets!

I wouldn’t let the kids listen to this one.  They’ll never get to sleep with visions of evil chinamen in their heads!

God is Love!
BBN

postheadericon OUTRAGE!!

Gay homo Andrew Sullivan ain’t no conservative.  He’s what I call a Conservative Under New Terms.  That means that he ain’t got no problem praising family values while shacking up with some seventeen year old hustler fresh out of Barney Frank’s dungeon.  He’s the kinda conservative that spells “praise”: P-R-E-Y-S.

And he ain’t got no right trying to drag one of the Godliest websites on the internet into the muck and mire of the same confused judgment that tells him that God lets homos into Heaven!  I wanna make this clear as the stigmata on Jesus’ hands – Baptists For Brownback ain’t parody.  I have received dozens of emails from Sister Taffy and that fact alone proves that she is who she is.  If that ain’t enough, I spent a whole Hour of Bein’ Good with her brother in law, Mr. C.C. Davis and found him to be just as charmingly delightful and Christ-centered as Sister Taffy.

So, Mr. Andrew Sullied, y’all just write about something you truly do know about – HYPOCRISY!

God is Love!
BBN

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