Archive for January, 2008

postheadericon “Twittering” The State Of The Union

I’m gonna be “twittering” the State of the Union address tonight. Y’all go on over to http://twitter.com/stronline and help me celebrate the greatest president since Winston Churchill!

postheadericon Mitt Romney Is Not A Jive Turkey

[This is a commentary by a friend of mine, Newton Wilcox, who is on the board of directors for www.shelleytherepublican.com.  I think it’s got some real important things to say]

There are some who, despite a multitude of facts and information to the contrary, continue to believe that the Republican party is racist.  Nothing is further from the truth.  In fact, if you are a negro, then there is no other party that works harder for you and your large extended family.  It is the Republican party, not the Democrat party, that wishes to leave no child behind.  It is the Republican party that would like to bring to an end the last vestiges of racism by discontinuing the quota system in all aspects of American life.  Did we only give trailers to white people in New Orleans?  The answer, of course, is no.  And which party put together a drug plan that would allow affordable drug treatment for sickle cell anemia?  It was the Republicans.

Does the name Clarence Thomas ring a bell?  How about J.C. Watts?  Dinesh D’Souza?  Condoleeza Rice?  The Republican Party gave all of these fine Negro Americans a chance succeed in careers that the Democrat Party would not trust them with.  When the truth is laid out plainly with the absence of what is popularly known as “spin” it unequivocally shows that the Republican Party is the “happening” place to be.

Lie-berals expend great amounts of energy attempting to refute this claim.  They point to their obsession with drugs and infidelity as points of intersection with the negro community.  It would be disingenuous to insist that some negroes do not engage in this type of behavior and vote Democrat for that precise reason.  However, we believe that the vast majority of them, raised by their grandmothers with a strong sense of morality, now realize that far from giving negros the tools to make the best of “their bad selves”, the Democrat Party  deceived them in order to keep them on their ideological plantation.

How, then, do we ingratiate our party into the negro community?

For too long, the school of thought taught us that as well-educated white men we are not allowed to have “soul”.  Sadly, we took this as a given in much the same way the Democrats convinced negros that instead of finding jobs they should stay home, have babies and live off the State.  And, just like negroes, we are getting the real “411”.  As Bill O’Reilly pointed out – our cultural differences (if there are any left) are not that far apart.  It is now more a question of style and sparkle.  And as “MC” Karl Rove pointed out, one need only try to reach out to negro cultural (if such a thing exists anymore) to find them reaching out the hand of friendship.

Our 5013c status prevents us from explicitly endorsing any presidential candidate and since Mitt Romney is a Mor(m)on we would never consider endorsing him to begin with.  However, he provides a wonderful  primer on how easily Republicans can infiltrate negro communities, disseminate their message of hope and leave unmolested.  Indeed, they may even find themselves enjoying their stay!

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You will notice three useful techniques in this video.

1)  Use a lyric from a song popular in that community.  In this case, Romney chose the song, “Who Let The Dogs Out?”  You can see their defenses drop almost immediately after he says this.  “My goodness,” they seem to say, “he knows the lyrics to one of my favorite songs!  And here I was told the Republican party was stodgy and stiff!”

2) Show more than superficial interest.  You’ll notice that Romney spends a fair amount of time with a negro girl dressed “to the nines” as some sort of a queen.  In the past, a simple “don’t you look pretty?” would have sufficed.  Instead, Romeny takes the time to open a dialogue about jobs and the economy with her!  “How’d you get those pretty white gloves,” he asks her.  This allows her to boast of how her daddy is employed because President Bush’s tax cuts stimulated the economy and narrowly avoided a crash and burn due to the previous administration’s largess.

3) Use the words they enjoy usingThis is not to say that you should use incorrect grammar or “axe” them questions – rather find one or two pieces of slang that you can easily toss into a conversation.  In this case, Romney remarks favorably on the child’s “bling bling”.  This humanizes you, allowing negro voters easily visualize you as a true man of ALL people.

This is why negro voters now flock to the Republican Party in droves!  Because we truly do care.

Or, you could show your contempt for negro voters by falling asleep during their speeches.

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To sum up – In the 2008 election, there is no reason for negros to vote for a negro Democrat when a white Republican candidate will do a better job as serving their interests.

postheadericon Ron Paul Succumbs to Murderous Gay Nazi Cannibals

It ain’t no secret that lie-bertarian drug dealer, Ron Paul, will wind up roasting in Hell.  He oughta run for the President of the Amsterdam, not the United States of America.  I reckon even Barak Homobama’s got more respect for the US than this traitorous hunk of worm waste.

Take a look as what he thinks

  • Drugs oughta be legal for anyone that wants them
  • Wants to make cars that are fueled by drugs
  • Is against a amendment to the Constitution to save pre-borns from a brutal death minutes before they’re about to be born
  • Is against a amendment to the Constitution that would make homosexuality wrong
  • Blames America first for the tragedy of 9/11
  • Wants American troops to surrender to Al Kida
  • Wants Iran to develop nuclear weapons to destroy the United States with

I could go on for as long as my arm and prolly a little bit after that even.  But that ain’t nothing compared to evil recently uncovered by a guy in the Promise Keepers I met when I may or may not have been in New Hampshire.  This Saturday, he sent me a email the contents of which put a shiver into my heart and drove me straight down to my knees to pray for God to spare His most favored nation.  He told me that I oughta go ahead and reprint it

To:  Billy Bob Neck
From: Graham ******
Subject:  Murderous Gay Nazi Cannibals

Brother Neck,

I have listened to the Godcast of the Hour of Being Good for a wicked long time and it’s killer.  Me and some buddies get together at the Dunkin Donuts on Fridays to listen to it every week.  The manager even comes and sits down with us if it’s not too busy.

One of the things we get bent out of shape about (besides the Mexicans sneaking across our border and into our state)  is the murderous gay nazi cannibals you talk about that are making their way from California.  We don’t like them.  If they show up in New Hampshire you can bet they won’t be living free – they’re going to die.  We love God too much to allow our children to have anything to do with fricking scumbags like that.

Once in a while, we get some 9/11 truthers in New Hampshire that try to stir up trouble and leave Ron Paul crap all over our town.  You’d think that after we burned all their signs and beat the crap out of them, they’d stop coming up here.  Guess they’re just wicked retarded because they keep coming back.

Anyway, the other day we caught a bunch of them in a Prius and while we were inspecting their car we came across this picture.

ron-paul-cross-dressing.jpg 

It doesn’t take a genius to see that Ron Paul is a cross dresser just like that Guiliania guy is.

Brother Neck, we are more than concerned about the influence of murderous gay nazi cannibals infecting the American political process.  I know that you and your buddies at Shelley The Republican can get this word out faster than a small group of New Hampshire militiamen can.

I hope you’ll help protect America against this kind of sin and immorality and get America back to the God that created Her!

Yours in Patriotic Christendom,

Graham ******

Graham, y’all consider it done!

I ain’t got nothing to add except that citizen patrols are just about the only thing that’s gonna keep your town safe from not only murderous gay nazi cannibals, but also drug dealing, gay illegal aliens, too.  After decades of a Godless, lie-beral Supreme Court that mandated the killing of pre-borns and forced law enforcement agents to care more about the rights of a criminal than of the poor, blind, retarded grandmother in a wheelchair that he dismembered and ate, it’s up to John Q. Public alone to keep his family, friends and neighbors safe.

One last thing – Mrs. Goodman suggested that I come up a quick pocket guide of things to keep an eye out for when conducting a citizen search of a suspect car.  If y’all find these helpful, gives us some more ideas about other undesirables you might need to identify!

tools-for-crossdressing.jpg

taco-jockey-tools.jpg

Feel free to print these out and keep ’em in your wallet!

God is Love!
BBN
www.billybobneck.com

postheadericon HOBG – Election Stolen From Alan Keyes

First, Alan Keyes gets the election stolen from him in Iowa and now New Hampshire.  If that ain’t proof a conspiracies against Christians then I ain’t sure what is.  Like Bill O’Reilly says, Christian bashing is the last acceptable form of discrimination.  Thank God for the Christian Anti-Defamation League which keeps track of this kinda crime!  Also, Farak Osama got his campaign shut down by the Survivors and stupidly thinks that he can be a murderer AND President of the United States.

God is Love!
BBN

postheadericon FLASH – SLICK WILLIE RUNS AWAY IN NH

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postheadericon FLASH – OBAMA TO WITHDRAW FROM RACE

I think America has finally seen just what a monster this Obama fella is.  And more important, he has, too!

From a press release I just got –

Fifteen pro-life activists from the Washington DC based Christian Defense Coalition and the California based “Survivors” group shut down the Obama campaign rally chanting “abortion is an Obama- nation.” The chant was a play on the phrase “abortion is an abomination.”

There ain’t no doubt!  Nobody is gonna be able to get over having their rally shut down and still become president.  And I mean, NOBODY!

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See ya later, Barrack Osama Homo Bin Laden!  Don’t let the door hit ya on the butt on the way out, neither!

God is Love!
BBN

postheadericon Videos That Won’t Make Y’all Wanna Vomit

Just about every time you go on the internets you get bombarded with explicit pornography. Yesterday, I did a search on “Jesus, I need you” and a whole bunch of pictures popped up that surely came from the Devil himself – foul, disgusting pictures filled with nudity and perversions that only a deviant like Richard Dawkin could imagine.

But like Jesus says – ask and ye shall receive! Just as I was ready to chuck my computer into the sinkhole in my backyard, I got a email on the Christian Newswire about a new website that’s gonna bring family values back to the World Weary Web.

Christian Family Tube ain’t only a good name for a website but it don’t make no bones about what it’s about. Good, faithful Christians tried like anything to make YouTube a decent place for decent folks but instead they feature hardcore pornograpy, Wiccan ceremonies and Darwinists. But God don’t lay down for that kinda thing for long. He put the Spirit to work and now Christians finally got a good place to go.

Christian Family Tube ain’t just about tubes, though. Sure, they got some real good videos that’ll tickle everybody’s funny bone while providing a good strong family message

But there’s a bunch more, too. Y’all can upload audio and videos of sermons, too! Plus, you get your own personal page for FREE! How much free stuff can y’all find on the internets? Not much, I’m gonna bet! They got some good Christian music, too. And if you want even MORE free stuff, they got games that ain’t gonna rot your kids’ brain and teach them how have gay sex while robbing a liquor store. Wholesome games like Tic-Tac-Toe or World Domination.

I hope you’ll stop by and support this site cuz we Christians need all the help we can get!

God is Love!
BBN
www.billybobneck.com

postheadericon BBNHOBG – Clarifications And Iowa

On the day of the Iowa caucus, I thought I’d address one of the biggest questions I been getting – If you’re gonna be president, why ain’t you on any ballot?  I think this’ll clear them questions up.  I also went down this list of candidates and just to give you my prediction – Fred Thompson’s gonna win but the only “candidate” worth his salt is Alan Keyes.

God is Love!
BBN

PS – Oh, and if you happen to be representing some law enforcement office, I done this show “via remote” as they say.

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